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At 1:53pm on July 10, 2017, Amos L. Thomas,111 said…


At 1:59pm on September 6, 2012, Amos L. Thomas,111 said…

Do "FREE THE P"....please!!!!

At 11:52am on August 20, 2012, Amos L. Thomas,111 said…

"Such antics result in hideous versions/replays of "playing on the side",fist n' cuffs"....!!!! ("COSMIC SLOP....It Figures"!!!!)

At 8:26pm on March 30, 2012, Roderick Keith Bryant said…

BUT! The valiant Big Pill peeped Upchuck’s treachery, and instantly enhanced the protective shield that encased his garishly groovalegic gregariousness. Lickspittically, crapathetic (shit-repelling) energy engulfed the planet; but due to the septic nature of Upchuck’s soul, no force could salvage his hide!  As the High Hooligan of Hogwash depressed the lever that would  forever consign his carcass to condemnation, only then came the epiphany that put the lie to his heretofore worthless existence, only at that moment was the wool pulled from his eyes, allowing him to see that, like Goldie masturbating, he was only pimping himself! He saw that he, a man reared during the era of Sly, Jimi, Sun Ra, Miles, and all the giants of Musical Maestrosity, was now reduced to selling theme music for bullshit notions, neurological asshole symphonies, and, most turdish of all, SHIT THAT DON’T THUMP! A  wave of cosmic repentance swept o’er Retch Upchuck, e’en as he teetered at the precipice to the carapace to the stanky and significantly  bile- filled ZONE OF ZERO FUNKATIVITY, where the funkless fester forever. It was then, and only then, that Upchuck developed A GROOVE, the oneness of mind and ass that allows the access of the joys of FUNKADELIA! 

In that awestruck instant, the High Lord Funkadelic took pity on the shiteous Upchuck,and , powering down his force-field, he reached forth and yanked the erstwhile crap merchant from the yawning jaws of the abyss. “ Though thy life has been most shitty  until now,” spake he, “Thou shalt live to make amends… and those amends will begin today---BEEYOTCH!!!

….Now dig, fathom ,and know this shit here: musical charlatans yet exist, peddling bombastically bogus bundles of beatless , bump-free bullshittery! Now, cuz game recognize game, Retch Upchuck provides the means to break the code of subliminal seduction employed by the MUSIC BUSINESS, so core funkateers will know true funk, no matter how well it is masked or duplicated! Dre, Snoop, Em, Kanye, the ‘Kast, Ying Yang, Rafael, Erykah, Musiq, T-Pain, and all true clones both foreign and domestic will carry the banner of FUNKADELIA on into the new millennium, ever screaming the ancient maxim, “THINK—IT AIN’T ILLEGAL …YET!!  Armed and protected as we now are, we will truly be ONE NATION UNDER A GROOVE and all will funk together as one!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                TALES OF THE NEW FUNKAMENT; BY THE ONE, ON THE ONE

At 8:25pm on March 30, 2012, Roderick Keith Bryant said…

                       Seeing the tide turning against them, Upchuck’s henchmen wheeled around to flee, only to be beaten back by the burgeoning mob of aggressive funkateers brandishing the holy sign of the ‘P’ , against which no agent of fraudulent funk can long remain erect! Hissing and spitting like epileptic cats, these funkless pagans began to roil and bubble, as the sheer and massive might of TRUE FUNK inundated their unworthy central nervous systems, rendering them into freeze-dried, sulphur-fart gas!

                               …..Now, left buttnekkidly alone after the thrashacre of his malodorous ministers of musical monotony, Upchuck stood trembling before the triumphant Main Mangustiah. “Please, O Funkificent One, have mercy uponst me, for I only give the people what they want! Focus groups, soundscan surveys, and the climate of the day all led me to produce the soulless drivel the masses devour as unto smothered porkchops by starving men!!! I only supply a demand! I don’t dictate taste! I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB!!!’’

    Groveling on hands and knees, the wretched Retch inched forward till he lie at the platformed feet of Overlord Clinton, slavishly kissing the soles of his boots, even as he covertly (or so thought he) palmed a Tectonic Toejam Transmogrifier, which, once ignited, would doom the planet to ETERNAL FUNKLESS NIGHT, where the earth would be unfit for man nor beast, and country music would roam the world unchecked!                                                                                                              

At 8:24pm on March 30, 2012, Roderick Keith Bryant said…

        “THIS SHIT MUST CEASE!!!’’Maggot Overlord Clinton bellowed in vanhalient fury. “Fetch me my weaponry, I will deal with these infidels meself!” Now, armed with ohsophistimicated hardware such as funkasonic revolvers, ballistic bullshittic missiles,Maximonic Mammary Motion Thrusters(TitGuns),Heliotrophic Boogie Inducers, along with a copacabanious assortment of groove grenades, ass jabs and booty hooks,the intrepid Mackistrate stood prepared to do battle, to the death, if need be!

                              Spurred onward by the gravity of the shituation, Clinton materialized in the metropolitan nerve center of this spiritually paraplegic wasteland, Madison Avenue, where he was violently confronted by the epizootic, mind-fucked minions of Retch Upchuck!! Immediately ,our hero  was buffeted with forcebeams emitted from buttguns, asskissitron rifles, suckation devices and other cosmically banned(as well as intellectually obsolete) instruments of aural constipation. Braced by the morality of his mission, bolstered by a crapathetic(shit-repelling) force-field of glengoinian proportions, the Supreme Maggot Overlord  stood fast against the blistering onslaught, grinning and cackling with bubonic glee! Unslinging his revolvers, he sprayed his adversaries with a volley so invigoratingly funky, that deep within the bowels of hell, Tricky Dick Nixon couldn’t help but to pat his feet. Bullshittic missiles struck next, exposing the so-called ‘music’ being foisted on a funkically-challenged population! Roused and awakened by the hellistic free-for-all, core funkateers rallied to the side of the Maggot Mackistrate , urging and inciting the Funky Prelate onward toward murderous, maxoidal mummification of the dastardly, bastardly beings who would so brazenly fake the most sacred funk!

At 8:24pm on March 30, 2012, Roderick Keith Bryant said…

       Into this breach of of funkacidal protocols did leap the vile ,evile, and corporately corrupt Retch Upchuck, blanketing the airwaves with a benevolently malevolent brand of blandscandalous caucasopseudofunk masquerading as the bonafide bomb!!! Blinded by the simpering grins of the primary agents codenamed Crackstreet Boys, ‘N’Stink,Tricky Fartin,Christina Dragyourearoff, Shrink192, Snatchcox 20 and their ilkeous ilk, the country was shitfaced into accepting this ignoble racket as a higher form of thumpapeutic instrumentation…Verily,if this sonic pimpation was allowed to proliferate,mankind would revert to its animal past, where Rhythm was on the national Enemies List, and FUNK was but an abstract concept, or, at best, an adjective. Mankind  would become ManUnkind, and death would be seen as welcome relief.

At 8:23pm on March 30, 2012, Roderick Keith Bryant said…


….as the millenia progressed….

The legions of the KNIGHTS OF FUNKADELICA  released their stranglehold on the thoroughly pimpslapped POOPCULTURE OF SHAMERICA; backed by the might of the second generation of THE INITIATE, Supreme Maggot Mackistrate George Clinton scoped that pentagoonish hypervigilance was no longer called for(not to mention definixonly uncool)therefore authorized strategic withdrawal from the storefront of the collective consciousni, and took up a reconnaissance post in the downlowvian recesses of the cerebral cortexes of everyday funkateers. There, the forces of the U.S.FUNK MOB could detect and observe any drift back into the catatonic state of funklessness that gripped the planet prior to the release of JAMBOXIAN EARHOLE LAXATIVE in 1970 P.D.(Pre-Disco).BUT…distracted by the doldrumity of this earthly existence,(such as offspringing, woo-chasing and executive ass-lip massage), the message of FUNK BEYOND COMPARE was laxloosely left untrumpeted!


At 11:25am on February 27, 2012, Amos L. Thomas,111 said…


At 11:14am on January 3, 2012, Amos L. Thomas,111 said…

The "KNIGHTED" Ones!! Got it "BUD"!!!! Amos,Harlem.


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