"Kandy Apple Redd: Fun sassy, sexy, talented, determined, outgoing and unique. We are cousins who grew up together and realized that we had something in common; WE CAN SING!!!!! Growing up around entertainers enhanced our love and interest for music.…"
"BUT! The valiant Big Pill peeped Upchuck’s treachery, and instantly enhanced the protective shield that encased his garishly groovalegic gregariousness. Lickspittically, crapathetic (shit-repelling) energy engulfed the planet; but due to the…"
In that awestruck instant, the High Lord Funkadelic took pity on the shiteous Upchuck,and , powering down his force-field, he reached forth and yanked the erstwhile crap merchant from the yawning jaws of the abyss. “ Though thy life has been most shitty until now,” spake he, “Thou shalt live to make amends… and those amends will begin today---BEEYOTCH!!!
….Now dig, fathom ,and know this shit here: musical charlatans yet exist, peddling bombastically bogus bundles of beatless , bump-free bullshittery! Now, cuz game recognize game, Retch Upchuck provides the means to break the code of subliminal seduction employed by the MUSIC BUSINESS, so core funkateers will know true funk, no matter how well it is masked or duplicated! Dre, Snoop, Em, Kanye, the ‘Kast, Ying Yang, Rafael, Erykah, Musiq, T-Pain, and all true clones both foreign and domestic will carry the banner of FUNKADELIA on into the new millennium, ever screaming the ancient maxim, “THINK—IT AIN’T ILLEGAL …YET!! Armed and protected as we now are, we will truly be ONE NATION UNDER A GROOVE and all will funk together as one!!!!
TALES OF THE NEW FUNKAMENT; BY THE ONE, ON THE ONE